“Life must go on; I forget just why.”
Not too long ago one of my favorite band’s drummer had died. At first it was like any other death I’ve heard in the 2009. But after I watched the tribute and read what M.Shadows wrote about The Rev I started to feel it on a more personal level. When I was a kid my dream was to be different than anybody ells, extraordinary. I wanted to save the world, to save lives. I still do, but ten years ago everything was different. Anything was possible. But I guess that’s the price you pay when you grow up, you realize that happy endings aren’t real, and good people are the ones to go first. I might have mentioned this before, but I don’t believe in god. And jimmy’s death made me think a lot about everything and I realized something. There is no balance in life, sure there are always good and bad people. But when it comes to death people just die, no reason. No good and bad deeds and punishments for our “sins”. Good people die, little innocent children die. I did not meant to be, life is just a series of actions and consequences, bad and good luck. You cannot pray away anything. I had a hard life, and I can’t say that these last couple of years were better. I almost died when I was eleven and i’m pretty certain that I will die young. It hit me hard when I read M.Shadows words, especially the part about the two things Jimmy was sure about. That’s just wrong, it hurts me so much when such talented people die, especially so young. I look at pictures, music videos interviews, I can’t believe that this person does not exist anymore, it’s been almost two months since, and I can’t stop thinking about it, about him. I can’t even imagine what his wife, family and friends are going trough right now. It’s weird, how a person’s death affects you, its either you don’t care, and the best you can is to say “Too bad” Or it hits you right in the gut, It hit me so hard. And it’s weird because this is someone I never had the chance to meet, never had a conversation with. I did not know him personally, but he seemed as an amazing, talented, crazy guy. He was a great musician, and even though he is gone, his music will live forever.
I have this strange feeling all the time. I want to save him, but I can’t. I can’t go back in time and I can’t do this voodoo shit either. But if I could go back in time, what could have I done? Natural causes they wrote. How can you prevent that from happening?
I SEE EVIL,I SEE PAIN. -WIP- i have a long way ahead of me with this piece. Too many details to add. Go to my DA page to see the whole drawing.
Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age / The child is grown, and puts away childish things. / Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies. / Nobody that matters, that is.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay
